How To Get Good At Saying No: Tips
Saying yes to everything that excites you can send you into a state of overwhelm. A place where your plate is filled to the rim with things “to do,” a demanding schedule, people tugging at you every moment of the day.
All this warring leaves you in a state of depletion and your excitement quickly turns to dread.
Truth be told I don’t have a problem saying, “No.” I grew up with a mother who had strong boundaries and said yes to what felt right and no to what didn’t. I learned by watching and this particular trait has served me well. (Thanks mom!)
However everyday I work and converse with women who have trouble saying, “No” and for a wide variety of reasons. This inability exhausts them mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
They all want to be able to say No but aren’t sure how to take the step.
So how do you get good at saying no?
Here are some tips to help you make the leap from always a yes, to no when it feels right.
- Choose: everything is a choice and the first step is to choose that you want to start living a life where No with a period behind it is an acceptable answer.
- The next step is to look at your motivation to saying yes. Does it align with your wishes and desires? Does it feed your need to be wanted and needed? Is this an opportunity that makes your Soul sing? Is your yes a default answer because you are afraid to say no due to a perceived negative response? Does saying no mean you are bad person and yes mean you’re a good person? Are you looking for a distraction?
- Then ask yourself. “Will saying yes to this result in more ease, joy and grace in my life? Or will it just add to my pile and increase my state of overwhelm?”
- Ask inside of yourself, “Will saying yes to this expand and better my life?” Listen to the answer. It might be an audible yes or no. Or focus on the feeling produced. If you get a feeling of lightness that is your inner being saying, “Yes go for it!” If you get a heavy feeling that means your inner self is saying, “No this is not for us.”
- Still having trouble saying no? Discover and explore the negative and limiting beliefs holding you back from standing in your power and voicing your truth. Once you have cleared these limitations you set yourself free to respond to a request from a place of what is true and fun for you.
Get good at saying no and your life will never be the same. It will be filled with joy, ease, peace and wellbeing and you will be a wonderful example to everyone in your life.
~Love, Esther
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